Update on Brayden.

Well, it has been a rough few days to say the least. I hate being here in Mountain Home and the kids at the hospital, and I can't be there. I HATE IT. Why oh why does my body have to be broken down and I cannot be any help whatsoever?  But, This is no time for feeling sorry for myself and having a pity party........

I promised an update on our sweet little one:

There were many things we did not have an awswer for. And we are still waiting on test results, etc.  But, we now know his lungs are fully developed. He has gained 9 oz since birth. He's now 7lb. 12oz. He DOES have vision. But he will probably need glasses. He has a cleft lip and palett. We do not now about his hearing right now.  But we do know our Little Man needs to have heart surgery on wednesday due to a deformity of his heart valves. Two are fused and need to be separated, and will need to be reattached. And what they will use, will have to be replaced again. And since it's hard to understand through tears and big words docs use and don't explain well, I can't tell you why right now, but every 10 years he will need to have surgery to replace it again. I don't understand yet if it's an artificial valve, or something else. But I hope to find out the details tonite. He had a traich tube put in his throat to help him breathe.

My family sat me down two days ago and stressed their concern about me making the trip to Little Rock. They are worried about my heart condition and since after Brayden's birth I had severe chest pain and it took 3 nitro pills to calm it, they are worried and don't want me to go. I argued a bit as I cannot imagine being there. But I also understand the they are worried enough about Brayden, and don't need to be concerned about my health as well. but my heart is breaking. As the grandmother you want to be the protector, the supporter, the rock for your children. And it's so hard when you can't be there for them and protect them from the heartache and worry.

But my faith is strong. And I know that our Lord will be there guiding the surgeons hands and holding little Brayden in his arms while the doctors are taking care of him. It is from HIM that we will gain the strength we need to be strong for our little one. So even though I will not be there our FATHER will. And that gives me comfort.

Please know that your emails mean so much. I read every single one. And I am sorry I haven't updated on my appointment at the cancer center. It just hasn't been as important as Brayden to me. But, I still don't know yet if it is breast cancer. I got a 2nd opinion and spoke to the cancer doc that does my iron infusions (which I will have thursday am) and he is concerned. So he is sending me to have a a biopsy so I will get a definite answer and not wait another 3-6 months to re-do the ultrasound..Gosh I hate Medicare and their wait and see attitude.. (but I am thankful to have it as well)  I promise I will let you know the results as soon as I get them.     Love and hugs!  Marlene