Brayden back in ICU and other news

I'm so sorry I haven't been updating more often. Truth is, I just haven't been able. My frame of mind has just not been in the right place. The last month has been very difficult to say the least. Between worrying about Brayden and Ashley & Joey, and Chris having to go for heart tests, and then my 2 surgeries and infection, I am truely worn out.

We had so hoped that Brayden would have been home already, but he had to have surgery again on monday. He was doing well the last couple of days and no sooner did the kids make the long (almost 4 hrs) drive home for Joey to go back to work, the hospital called and said Brayden was moved back to ICU. He is not doing well again- heart rate plummeted, and he is continuously vomitting so no formula again. Was on room air, but having difficulty so now back on oxygen. Over the last few weeks he has gone from over 9lbs to just over 6. Our precious little one has turned 2 months old on the 11th, and still I haven't even been able to hold him. I just hate it. But I can't do the long drive, and I have been warned by my doc that my health just can't take the stress of it. And everyday I am torn. I want to be THERE. I want to be there for my son and give him help and support. I want to see/hold my little grandson, and my heart is breaking because I can't. Last night was a bad night. Joey had called earlier in the day and said that Brayden's vision was tested again and he IS blind. Maybe can see shadows, but that's it. Why oh why did they say the exact opposite not so long ago? It pisses me off beyond belief that those poor kids have these incredible ups and downs like this. Can't they make up their mind? IS he blind or ISN'T he?!?!?!

They also tested his hearing again and no reponse on one side, some response on the other. And let me tell you, I bawled like a baby most of the nite. Gave my son a pep talk over the phone about hearing implants and miracle eye surgeries that happen everyday. Told him how he has to concentrate on the things Brayden will be able to do, and not what he cannot do. Yadda yadda and so on. Then I got off the phone and bawled like a baby........

Sorry, can't write more about this now. I have to collect my thoughts, not to mention myself. I cannot do this without getting incredibly emotional at the moment..............
Please keep Brayden and parents in your prayers. They need a miracle.

We lost a dear friend 3 days ago. While I am sooooo sad that Mary is gone, I am glad her pain and suffering is over. She has been ill and on dialysis for several years. Mary Folmer was 76 and like a mom to Greg and I. She would call me up and check on me and ask how I was feeling when she herself just came home from dialysis. She never complained. Never. She and her husband George were married 54 years. They've known Greg and his ex for many years, and I was worried how they would except me. But they accepted me and my boys, and have been dear friends since. I will miss her terribly. Rest in peace my friend. One day, we'll see each other again!

On a better note, my "wound" is healing at the present time. The wound vac is a pain in the ass, but I am thankful for it. Several times I had problems with it and this weekend ended up having to call the nurse at 4am as there was a leak and I was in PAIN as the vac would not stay on the setting it should have been. So the poor nurse had to show up at my door in the wee hours to re-do the damn thing. Turns out the dang thing wasn't working right for more than 12 hours when the other nurse came to the house and changed the dressing. I asked her about it because it didn't feel right, and she assured me it was fine. Well, it wasn't. My skin is a mess where the "drape" covers the skin to make the seal. Basically the drape is a very sticky piece of clear tape about the size of a sheet of paper. Because of the leak, the fluid being vacuumed out of my wound got under the drape and caused an infection in the skin surrounding the wound. So yesterday when I went to have it checked at the wound clinic, the surgeon said no wound vac til the skin clears up or I'll have an even bigger problem than the wound itself. So now, the nurse will come to the house daily to check on me & take my vitals and change the packing/dressing. While it's nice to not have the wound vac with all the tubing, and cord, etc. for a bit, I'd really rather have it since it was working! Geez! How on earth does this weird crap always happen to me? Just a simple 2 inch incision from a biopsy has turned into a fiasco......

I have been working on some new things on my website. Vintage stuff. I have always loved victorian style, and have been trying my hand at some different ideas. I have some christmas things done and will hopefully get it on the site in a day ot two. Also have opened a shop on etsy and will have some vintage themed- hand crafted things for sale posted soon. I'll let you know when it's up so you can take a peek.

I hope you all are well and enjoying your summer. I promise to catch up on emails very soon. And although it may take me a while to answer them all, I read every single one as I get them. So keep the jokes, coming- I need the smiles- and let me know what you are up to. I couldn't get through my days lately without the support from all of you!  Love and hugs!  Marlene

Emergency Surgery and updates on our little Brayden

Well, I seem to have lost a whole month. June was spent in a haze of infection and being very sick. The incision from the biopsy closed, but I had a major infection inside, under the skin. (Staph) I was on antibiotics, but it kept getting worse so when I went to see the surgeon's nurse, she called the doc at the hospital (he was in surgery!) and he said to get to the hospital NOW. So I did. Less than two hours later I was in surgery again. Doc cleaned out the infected tissue and icky stuff. The infected area was about the size of a tennis ball. I had to stay in the hospital for 3 days,to get IV anitbiotics, and then was able to go home yesterday. Now comes the very LONG healing process. Doc says it will take several MONTHS to heal. I have to use a wound vac as well. What fun! I have a tube that is wider than a pencil stuck in my breast and this tube is attached to a machine I now have to lug around with me 24/7. And this machine sucks out the nasty stuff. A home health nurse will come to change the packing & dressing, and I also have to go to the wound clinic 3 days a week. Good grief. You talk about pain! When I was getting discharged from the hospital, they had to take out the tube and packing from the hospital's machine and attach the portable one to me. The gauze that they packed in after the surgery on wednesday was stuck, so she poured saline in the hole hoping it would make it easier to get it out. This was my 15th surgery. Never ever have I had pain like I did when she was pulling out that gauze out of the raw hole in my breast. Honestly, I thought for sure I would pass out. And I get to do it again in a couple of days....... Oh Lord, give me strength please! So, I could really use some prayers pretty please!!

Now for an update on our little one. He is still in the hospital in Little Rock. Several complications and need for surgery again so he could not go home. We are very sad. So please please keep praying for our little one!!  And now I have got to get some sleep. It's after 5am and I haven't slept yet!  More later- Love & hugs!   M