December Catch Up

Hello everyone. I hope this day finds you feeling well and happily getting ready for the holiday season. And yes, I said holiday season. I too, am sick to death of government and other idiots trying to take Christ out of CHRISTmas. But I do have friends that are Jewish, and others that don't celebrate Christmas, so to include them all, I said holidays, so please don't flood my in-box. ;)

I have a few things to fill you in on, the is first BIG news. Greg and I got married last month. Yes, I know, we took a long time to get there! (8 years!)We were planning for december, but after Brayden's death we decided at the last minute to just to have a simple and quiet thing with just the two of us and get married by a minister. So the minister came to our home and married us in a quiet little ceremony that seemed fitting to us. Ron has known Greg for many years and he was happy to marry us. We picked 11-11-11 as our wedding date kind of as a joke as whenever we look at the clock to see what time it is it is always a pattern of numbers like 11:11 or 5:55. It's only been happening here at the new house, and kind of wierd as it happens to both of us, and it's kind of joke between us. Little did we know that thousands of people picked that day as a symbol of good luck. We found that out later on.
Anyway, Greg is my soul mate and I am honored to be his wife. I am a very lucky woman.

Now to other things. I have been asked by several of my fibrofriends  and Go Red Gals to use my blog to share how I cope with my chronic illness. I have tossed this around for a while, as at the present time, my coping skills are pretty much non-exsistent to be truthful. And I have prayed about it alot. I asked how on earth my struggles with illness can be a blessing to someone else. And my answer came today after a visit to my doctors office. So many of you are new to this. Maybe you have a spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. who clearly doesn't get it. Maybe YOU don't get it. I have walked in your shoes for a buzzillion miles. And will walk in them for a buzzillion more. And if what I have learned (and still am learning)  can help you even one little bit, then that is my calling.

So to start out, let me share this link for those of you with Fibromyalgia, (FM), Chronic Fatigue Immune Difficiency Syndrome (CFIDS) and other chronic pain. This is a web site is a MUST HAVE in your plan for understanding your illness and to be on the road to feeling better.
http://fmcpware.org
If you are recently diagnosed, or have never visited this site, go there NOW. I regularly print stuff off of this site to share with my team of docs. Never think your docs know all there is to know about you illness. They don't. And if they get upset with you bringing in info to share, then you need to find yourself another doc.

This is my first post about this subject (well sort of) but in the coming weeks, I will include some of my story, and how and when I was diagnosed, and what I do to stay sane on a day-to-day basis. I will also include links, books, etc that I find helpful. And please do post comments and share your thoughts and links as well. Maybe we all can make some kind of sense of this FM/ CFIDS thing. And for my friends and family, I hope you'll tune in as well. Maybe it will give you a little bit more insight to understand what this chronic illness does to us and that it isn't in "MY" head.

Several of you have messaged me and asked how I am coping with the loss of our precious Brayden. I'm sorry I haven't given you an answer on that. But, it's because I can honestly say, I am not coping. I am not coping at all. I found the easiest way to deal with it is not to deal with it at all. It is far too painful. And that is the most stupid thing a person with my health (or lack of) can do. Believe me, I know that. But right now, at this time, I cannot do it. Because I promise you, I will fall apart in a million pieces and I don't know if I have the strength so I can put it together again. It's still too raw, and complicated by other family issues. So, that is my answer. For now.
I ask that if you are so inclined, to please keep my family & I in your prayers.

I am thankful Tiffany and Chris have given me something else to think about. They have set their wedding date for May 2012, so we have been doing a bit of planning and crafting and rummaging around in my messy craft room trying to find things we can use. Good and joyful times. :)

I did manage to get our Christmas tree up. And that's as far as I got. No outside stuff, no new floral work, garlands, etc. Just didn't have it in me. Sent it all back to the garage. I am tired my friends. A kind of tired I have never felt before. It has been a really hard few months and it has taken it's toll on me. But I know I don't need a million decorations up to give glory to the Lord. It is in my heart every single day.

And with that, I am going to stop for today. I will write again in a day or so. I will be keeping up with this better since I have made a promise to you! Until then, take care of yourselves! Love and gentle hugs, Marlene