Happy Tuesday friends. I hope you all are well. We are fighting some illness over here. Me with bronchitis and sinus infection, and Greg an ear infection and some chest congestion. Hopefully the antibiotics are gonna kick in soon so we're not sick over Christmas!

We both saw the doc today. He asked her some questions about disability, and she told him he more than qualifies. I've know for a while that he should file. I mean, I live with the guy. I know how he is in incredible pain from his compression fracture (fell off a ladder onto concrete) and disk disease. And that's only his back. His knee is shot and only being held together by a brace, and his shoulder is a mess from falling off the truck (onto his shoulder) a few years ago. And that doesn't even include the severe arthritis head to toe. I hate that he has to work so hard to make up for me not being able to work. :(  Yes, I get SSDI, but it's not much, and I don't need to tell any of you how hard it is to live on one income. Anyway, I'm hoping after the holidays, he will file for disability. At least temp SSDI will cover him for the time needed to have surgery and recovery time!

As for me, I now have a Tens Unit, and it is helping my neck & mid back quite a bit and I've only had it on for a couple of hours. So I think if this keeps my pain level down, I will hold off on the facet injections in my neck and back. Not a nice thing to go through. I have also had the nerves burned as well. I think I'll pass on all that again thank you very much. And as much as I hate to say it, I have agreed to a motorized wheelchair. Getting around is getting harder and harder, and falling down is NOT a good thing. I seem to be getting tired alot faster, and my legs just don't want to do what they're supposed to. I thought it was tough when I gave up driving. Using a wheelchair is worse. And while I can stand long enough to cook dinner, or do a few simple chores, I cannot walk through the grocery store, or go to the mailbox anymore. Last time I did that, I fell in the driveway. :(
But Chris and I talked about it, and he said, "Mom, at least if you use the chair, you can save your energy for other things. What a wise son I have. And I felt better about it after talking to Chris and Greg. Next month a gal from Humana is coming to see me about the chair and to see what need to be done to make the house wheelchair accessible.

Our doc also had alot to say to me about getting my buisness going. Lots of you know me from either Splitcoast Stampers, or Wrapcandy. But you don't know my first love is floral work. Last year I gave doc one of my pine cone trees as a Christmas gift. This year she asked me to design trees for her entire staff and to make some decorations for her office. I designed a 12 foot garland for over her receptionist's desk and a wreath for each door as well as a 4 foot tall tree. She wants me to design more for each season! She said she has had so many compliments on them- even the big shots from the main office loved them and they have 15 clinics. She wants to set me up to do work for all the offices and is also setting me up with a country club. Wouldn't that be wonderful?? I told Greg there is our new buisness. No more busting his butt taking down trees! Yay!
So, I will get busy after Christmas working on the garland, wreath, and tree bases, then I only have to customise them.

Moving on.....
We did our annual cookie tray deliveries this morning. We aways bring some to the police and sherrif's office, and then to our friends. I have been baking like a mad woman for the last week, and I am worn out. We cut back quite a bit this year. It just isn't in our budget, and my worn out body can't do two weeks worth of baking and candy making marathons anymore. But I love baking, so I won't give it up. My mom was from Germany and I have fond memories of baking for Christmas. I even make home made marzipan. So, even though we fibromites are told over and over to not over do- I am the queen of over-doing it. I can't help it. It's like I want to show my body who's boss or something. Needless to say, it doesn't work well for me. My body always proves IT is boss, and then pays me back with a flare. Ah well. Tis the season!
 Enjoy the day!
 Love and gentle hugs, Marlene

December Catch Up

Hello everyone. I hope this day finds you feeling well and happily getting ready for the holiday season. And yes, I said holiday season. I too, am sick to death of government and other idiots trying to take Christ out of CHRISTmas. But I do have friends that are Jewish, and others that don't celebrate Christmas, so to include them all, I said holidays, so please don't flood my in-box. ;)

I have a few things to fill you in on, the is first BIG news. Greg and I got married last month. Yes, I know, we took a long time to get there! (8 years!)We were planning for december, but after Brayden's death we decided at the last minute to just to have a simple and quiet thing with just the two of us and get married by a minister. So the minister came to our home and married us in a quiet little ceremony that seemed fitting to us. Ron has known Greg for many years and he was happy to marry us. We picked 11-11-11 as our wedding date kind of as a joke as whenever we look at the clock to see what time it is it is always a pattern of numbers like 11:11 or 5:55. It's only been happening here at the new house, and kind of wierd as it happens to both of us, and it's kind of joke between us. Little did we know that thousands of people picked that day as a symbol of good luck. We found that out later on.
Anyway, Greg is my soul mate and I am honored to be his wife. I am a very lucky woman.

Now to other things. I have been asked by several of my fibrofriends  and Go Red Gals to use my blog to share how I cope with my chronic illness. I have tossed this around for a while, as at the present time, my coping skills are pretty much non-exsistent to be truthful. And I have prayed about it alot. I asked how on earth my struggles with illness can be a blessing to someone else. And my answer came today after a visit to my doctors office. So many of you are new to this. Maybe you have a spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. who clearly doesn't get it. Maybe YOU don't get it. I have walked in your shoes for a buzzillion miles. And will walk in them for a buzzillion more. And if what I have learned (and still am learning)  can help you even one little bit, then that is my calling.

So to start out, let me share this link for those of you with Fibromyalgia, (FM), Chronic Fatigue Immune Difficiency Syndrome (CFIDS) and other chronic pain. This is a web site is a MUST HAVE in your plan for understanding your illness and to be on the road to feeling better.
http://fmcpware.org
If you are recently diagnosed, or have never visited this site, go there NOW. I regularly print stuff off of this site to share with my team of docs. Never think your docs know all there is to know about you illness. They don't. And if they get upset with you bringing in info to share, then you need to find yourself another doc.

This is my first post about this subject (well sort of) but in the coming weeks, I will include some of my story, and how and when I was diagnosed, and what I do to stay sane on a day-to-day basis. I will also include links, books, etc that I find helpful. And please do post comments and share your thoughts and links as well. Maybe we all can make some kind of sense of this FM/ CFIDS thing. And for my friends and family, I hope you'll tune in as well. Maybe it will give you a little bit more insight to understand what this chronic illness does to us and that it isn't in "MY" head.

Several of you have messaged me and asked how I am coping with the loss of our precious Brayden. I'm sorry I haven't given you an answer on that. But, it's because I can honestly say, I am not coping. I am not coping at all. I found the easiest way to deal with it is not to deal with it at all. It is far too painful. And that is the most stupid thing a person with my health (or lack of) can do. Believe me, I know that. But right now, at this time, I cannot do it. Because I promise you, I will fall apart in a million pieces and I don't know if I have the strength so I can put it together again. It's still too raw, and complicated by other family issues. So, that is my answer. For now.
I ask that if you are so inclined, to please keep my family & I in your prayers.

I am thankful Tiffany and Chris have given me something else to think about. They have set their wedding date for May 2012, so we have been doing a bit of planning and crafting and rummaging around in my messy craft room trying to find things we can use. Good and joyful times. :)

I did manage to get our Christmas tree up. And that's as far as I got. No outside stuff, no new floral work, garlands, etc. Just didn't have it in me. Sent it all back to the garage. I am tired my friends. A kind of tired I have never felt before. It has been a really hard few months and it has taken it's toll on me. But I know I don't need a million decorations up to give glory to the Lord. It is in my heart every single day.

And with that, I am going to stop for today. I will write again in a day or so. I will be keeping up with this better since I have made a promise to you! Until then, take care of yourselves! Love and gentle hugs, Marlene